I realized today I've been procrastinating and not writing for over a year now. Which is sad. So by now you're probably thinking, Kate, you're still a waitress? And I'm a little sad to admit that I am. I never wanted to be at this job this long, but in this economy you take any job you can.
A lot changes in a year. Craig got married (from the post about fun with coworkers) to an awesome fellow coworker, with the same last name. William, Luis and Kelly have all moved on (which is a shame, since Kelly made for some great stories.) and Charlie is no longer a host, but is now a server.
Things are as dramatic and ridiculous as ever in the restaurant business. There are slow days and there are busy days. And I promise that I will be better about posting the mishaps and crazy things that happen at our little restaurant this year. After all, if school goes the way I hope, I won't be living in this place for much longer. But in the meantime, I'll try to keep updated our stories.

Sometimes as a server We have this unfortunate curse of trying to be friendly and getting our foot stuck in our mouth. Either you say something without realization or you just...blurt something out. I have two stories, each being an example of these.

Story 1: The Awkward Moment
On a Saturday night I had table 1 want to pay for table 2's ticket. I went to table 2 and said, "That table over there wants to pay for your ticket, it's your lucky day!"
The man looked at me, gingerly placed his hand on my arm and said, "Miss. We buried my brother today."
Oh man.

Story 2: Verbal Diarrhea; The blurt out.
I had a guy keep asking me where my heritage was from. The WHOLE time. As it grew annoying, I started ignoring him and talking more to his fellow meal-mates. He kept saying things like,
"So are you egyptian?"
"No."
"What about Italian? Persian?" Greek?"
"No. No. And no."
"Oh I know! Are you Jewish? You look Jewish."
As I got angry the words left my mouth before I could filter them
"Well are you stupid? Because you look stupid."
He didn't leave me a tip. though his buddies all left a GREAT one.

So I'm usually a very very congenial and wonderful customer. Having to deal with idiots all day who are the pickiest eaters in the world makes me a wonderful patient patron to all restaurants. But recently I had to deal with a completely idiotic server.
One of my best friends, Cecilia, and I went to a little adorable cafe specializing in pies. We were really looking forward to eating pie, but knew since we hadn't eaten anything all day, we should probably get something solid. Cecilia ordered Mozerella Sticks and I ordered a plate of Garlic Cheese Bread. Well I ate about half my bread and told the waitress I was ready for my pie. She looked at me disapprovingly. I sat there. She finally spoke.
"Ma'am I'm not bringing you your pie until you finish your food."
"Excuse me?"
"You need to finish your meal first."
"I came in for pie. I want pie."
"Well you can't just waste all that food."
"I can if I pay for it."
"No. I won't bring you pie until you finish you're meal."
We continued to argue for about five minutes until out of frustration I yelled, "Okay. Look. Get me your manager NOW!" She stared at me...well...glared at me and very angrily stormed off. About two minutes later she brought me my pie.

I didn't quite know how I should act after that. No wonder customers go to a restaurant with the idea that their servers are out to make their day worst. Mine was! At least I got my pie.

As I've mentioned before, sometimes waitressing can be very boring. The days that are slow kind of send you into bouts of boredom, especially when you've cleaned and re-cleaned everything. So what do you do when you're that bored? You find ways to tease and annoy your co-workers. This particular our target was someone who wasn't working, Craig.
As we were standing around the restaurant I picked up my phone to text, of course making sure no managers were around. Texting is a big no-no at my work. I am friends with Craig, but he's very gullible and trusting, but not in the naive, sweet way. He's gullible and trusting in the stupid, ignorant kind of way. So I sent my first text to Craig.
"Why aren't you at work?"
"Am I supposed to be?" He answered back.
"Yes. You were supposed to be here at eleven."
"No I wasn't. You're a liar."
"Craig, we're slammed. We're short one server, because you're not here. The managers had to step in and take tables."
"Are you serious? Kate, really are you serious?"
"Yes! Why aren't you here? If you don't believe me, text William and ask him." William was standing right behind my shoulder reading these as I texted. Soon he received a text from Craig.
"William, Am I supposed to be at work?" William smiled as he sent his response.
"Yes! Where the hell are you!?" Craig's next response came to my phone.
"I still don't believe you." So we wrote him into the schedule, took a picture, and sent it to his phone. There was no response, so I thought it was over. At this point, the small rush we did receive was over and we were all standing around again. In walked Craig...more like rushed actually. He stopped and stared at us all staring around. If he did the math right, there were four servers, not three, and we were not slammed.
"What's going on?" He asked. We all just looked at each other and smiled.
"I hate you all. I HATE YOU! What is wrong with you guys!?"
"What? Come on. This is funny." I said.
"What's so funny about this?" he cried!
"That fact that we actually got you to come in to work!"
"I was busy!"
"Doing what? Playing video games?"
"Maybe!" He said, then turned around and stormed out.
After we all had a good laugh, we stared at each other and decided to get back to work. After a few minutes I got a text.
"I left in a hurry, could you at least tell me what time I come into work tonight?" Craig asked?
"Sure. You come in at three thirty."
"Gee Thanks."
"No prob."
I smiled to myself as I sent the text. Craig wasn't scheduled until five. :)

I am amazed at some people's lack of common sense or lack of thinking sometimes. Things that seem obvious to me apparently are not to others. Let me give an example of this.

If you haven't been able to tell from the story with Butch Cassidy, my family owns a restaurant specializing in mexican food. (yes i realize a fajita burger isn't mexican, but we have some unique items on our menu as well.) We are more tex mex, but we have a few genuine items on our menu that make me want to vomit (mojara and menudo). Yes, my job is a fun filled fiesta. But when you go to a mexican restaurant, normally you're going to order things like burritos and enchiladas and quesadillas and stuff like that. So please explain to me why I had the following conversation at my table:
"Alright, are you ready to order?"
"Can I get a side of sweet and sour chicken?"
Awkward pause. "No, you can't actually."
"Okay, I'll just take the sweet and sour platter then."
Even longer awkward pause. "Sir, this is a mexican restaurant."

Alls I'm sayin is: Enough Said.